The Joy of Giving Yourself
A dear friend called me this morning to talk. She’s a busy person, and often our conversations are short. We live close to each other though, so we talk frequently. This morning was different, because she didn’t just want to talk, she wanted connection. I could feel something in her voice that made me completely stop what I was doing, and focus on our conversation. It only took a couple of minutes for us to get to the real reason she called.
Her elderly mom, who lives alone in another city, was having some challenges. My friend had been planning to visit her in a few weeks, but was feeling that she should leave earlier than originally planned. She had received a report from a brother who lived nearby her mom. My friend needed to talk about the situation. She was working through her options, and her deepest feelings about what she should do. We spent several minutes going over the situation, and she became clearer. Just talking about the situation to someone who cared helped her get clear on her real feelings.
We all have a lot to do, often causing us to multitask, and to give half attention and effort to many of the routine things we do everyday. We move through things on our lists rapidly, often looking ahead to where we need to focus next. We may not remember something significant at the end of a day, if we haven’t completely connected to it. This is the very definition of overwhelm, the very absence of peace or understanding.
In Surrender Your Agenda: From Overwhelm to Joy, a course I developed for stressed and overwhelmed women, one of the most important choices that I encourage all of us to make is that of being fully present wherever you are, and in whatever you are doing throughout the day. When we are fully present we make a real connection to others and to ourselves. Being fully present defeats much of the overwhelm and stress of our lives, because it allows us to let our minds rest from everything else while we are engaged in what we are doing. Our attitude of mind actually changes when we focus in on what is important for us to prioritize in the moment. When we are present with a situation, a task, or a person our perception is focused on our purpose right here, right now.
We all spend lots of time and energy on the gifts that we give to others during the holidays, or for birthdays, or other special occasions. Becoming fully present with the living beings in your life is one of the greatest gifts you can ever give them. Who in your life would receive great benefit from a deep and conscious connection to you? Several people may come to mind immediately. I would suggest to you that everyone in your life would receive benefits from your being fully present in your interaction with them, no matter how short that interaction may be.
We now know that multitasking is seldom effective. The brain cannot truly focus on several tasks simultaneously, and resorts to focusing in sequentially short attentions to each task involved. The greatest argument against multitasking though is that it keeps us from fully experiencing the living beings who give meaning and purpose to our life.
Take the time to be connected to the living beings in your life. Bring yourself back to the moment whenever you notice you are slipping into another time or place. Give the gift of your presence to others. Take the time to acknowledge the people who cross your path. They are your teachers, as you are theirs.
One of the greatest joys in life is real connection to others. It is a gift. You can change your habit of mutltasking by choosing to be fully present in each moment. You change your habits by creating new intention and purpose. Take the time today to express real feelings to someone, to understand someone, to be quiet with someone, to support someone, to hold a hand, to laugh together, to share the moment. Live your life fully and consciously. Give your gift of presence to others and to yourself. Give yourself.
Joy & Blessings, Carole xx
