Stress and Overwhelm Decaf
CommentsWe enter a state of overwhelm when we exceed the tipping point…that point when even a little more, becomes too much….
Let me say here that I love coffee, and tea, and chocolate, and an occasional soft drink….notice that everything on this list can contain caffeine. I’ve tried decaf, but it doesn’t rock my boat…and….I’m not willing to completely give up something that gives me so much pleasure, and may actually be good? for me in some ways. I want to believe what I’ve been hearing about the benefits of caffeine!
I did make some new caffeine choices though…I limited my intake to 2 cups of coffee a day….with a little chocolate sneaked in 
I know, upfront and personally, why we associate too much caffeine with anxiety fits, bad temper, and meltdown…..Don’t write to me about this…I love coffee, remember?
So I’m making new choices that don’t involve decaf, that version of a caffeinated product in which the caffeine is greatly reduced, or removed. For one, I’m drinking more water at the times of day I would have had a cup of coffee or tea, and that’s working for me.
All this emphasis on my caffeine intake made me think about decaf again, because I always wish that I liked decaf….life would be simpler if I did. Then I thought, wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could DECAF other things….what if we could remove the factor that causes us the problem in things other than coffee?
Remember, overwhelm can result from good stuff, gone bad….the overwhelm we experience often results from a tipping point, just like caffeine, or too much of any good thing.
What happens to most of us is that we go merrily along, able to manage some stress, and keep our balance, but it’s easy to get overloaded. Remember, a lot of stress sneaks in, because it’s brought on by good change in our lives. We may think we’re managing the stress overload…..but then we have a little too much stress…a tipping point….and suddenly we’re overwhelmed.
What if we could backup, rewind, and delete, before we get to the tipping point? What if, like my coffee habit, we could allow ourselves a certain amount of stress, and then switch to something better for us? Life would be simpler if we never let ourselves reach that tipping point into overwhelm.
—-Nip Tips—-
- Give yourself permission to see areas where you’re getting unbalanced….Use your meditation, your prayers, your journal, to start to notice your high risk areas
- Make a list of those areas that buzz and juice you….these are areas which you may love to overload, because they initially make you feel good
-
Mark your personal calendar for times throughout the year to check yourself that you’re not overloading these areas
Here are some examples of buzz areas for me. You’ll have your own list:
Caretaking: Helping others while I’m neglecting my own needs
Time scheduling: Loading a day, a week, or a month with "Must Do’s" that don’t allow any time or space for relaxation
Stockpiling: Adding more stuff, more supplies, more research, without using up what I have
One of the things we learn in childhood, but sometimes forget, is that it’s a lot easier to maintain our balance, than to restore balance when it’s lost. Make time and make effort to make choices to keep life balanced….As my mother used to say, "There can always be too much of a good thing!"
Joy & Blessings, Carole xxx
Plenty of Consciousness
CommentsThe ultimate alignment you can make with the Universe, the big U Universe, AKA Spirit….is to simply be willing to be used for good….
I remember the day that I realized I needed to change my consciousness, and create a new life. I had been getting along pretty well until that day, knowing deep down that I was lucky and blessed. My life was good, and getting better, but I realized that I wasn’t giving enough back for all the blessings I had received.
I woke up that day….and I’ve been determined to stay Aware and Alert and Awake ever since! Sometimes, I remember, and actually succeed in doing that!
We hear the term, Consciousness, tossed around, yet not defined. I love this definition of consciousness by Eric Butterworth, one of my greatest inspirations....
"Consciousness might be defined as: All your ideas & attitudes & beliefs…..both the things that come to you, and the things that have been accepted by you. It is your feeling about life, about God, about yourself. You are a spiritual being, living in a limitless spiritual world, but you manifest only as much of that limitlessness as you feel at one with. This is consciousness."
Most of us go through life trying to be a "good person." When I heard someone say one day, "What I’m receiving now, I’ve given in the past," a heartbulb went off. If a person is happy, prosperous, and loved, that truth sounds good…If life is sad, lonely, and lacking, it’s a hard pill to swallow….but, it’s still true.
There are few of us who wouldn’t like to receive more LOVE, SUPPORT, KINDNESS, PROSPERITY, AFFECTION, JOY, ATTENTION, COURTESY in our lives. An ancient principle applies here….the law of Cause & Effect is absolute law, and never fails. It took me years to acknowledge this principle, and honor it in my life…."We get what we give"….tough to believe when it’s teaching us hard lessons, but in some way, we’re receiving what we’ve given in the past….pure and simple….and since I haven’t yet attained sainthood, I get some pretty stinky stuff sometimes.
I have a little box…I like boxes….the box says, "Dance like no one is looking, Sing like no one can hear you, Love like you can’t be hurt." I added, "Give like you have plenty."
You know why you have to give unconditionally…you know in your heart…Giving, being of service, making a contribution, is a JOY CHOICE…You benefit everytime you give, even if it’s not received…and many times it won’t be received…Keep giving anyway. You will open up the flow to bring more consciousness into your life everytime you give.
My dad’s name was Worth…it’s one of my favorite words for a multitude of reasons. Dad was a giver. He and my mom taught me to give…I’ve had lots of givers in my life. They taught me that it doesn’t work if you give to receive….If you give, you feel worthy of receiving, and then you receive naturally.
What can you do today?…BE OF SERVICE ON THE PLANET…..GIVE!
Giving comes with a guarantee from the Universe….you got it! The big U Universe!
- Go way past just thinking of service as time or money
- Give anytime you can…we’re not talking about Sacrifice…that’s an S word that’s not connected to Service!
- Give to friends, strangers, loved ones anyway you can
- Take time for living things! Communicate with people…talk to the elderly woman in the supermarket, acknowledge a service person, hold a door open, smile at someone, help!
-
Give more than is asked of you
Don’t store it! Share it! You learned that at 3 years old…share your joy, share your abilities, share your attention, share your time, share your love.
Complete the assignment you have here on earth….remember that assignment….the gifts you’ll receive are priceless!
Joy & Blessings, Carole xxx
Pagra is the Real Connection
CommentsI’m so blessed….I have a variety of friends….all types! If you think about it, I bet you have a variety of friends, too. I like many types of people, and you probably do, too. My friends have a variety of interests and personalities, and time spent with them is stimulating. My friends are different ages, cultures, ethnicities, and backgrounds. I can’t think of one of them who is just like me….If I had to spend time with people just like me, I’d be bored!
Friends bring a lot of growth, interest, understanding, and support to our lives. I personally believe that the people in our lives are here for a multitude of reasons, but mostly they are here to teach us, as we are here to teach them.
Over 25 years ago, I studied, and later instructed, a course based on developing loving attitudes. In the course, we used an ancient language, the Aramaic, to explain concepts of what it meant to be loving to others, to ourselves, and to Spirit. Aramaic is a language which was spoken by some of the greatest spiritual leaders of all time, and the language is still alive in the world today.
Anyone who knows me, knows that I love words! The Aramaic language has the most fascinating and complex words I’ve ever studied. The words of the Aramaic are rich in implications of psychology, physiology, and spirituality…translation is difficult to less complex languages.
An Aramaic word, PAGRA, is a principle which I keep alive in my own life. Pagra, in fact, means new life, and it refers to relationships among people.
Pagra is the creation of a new, or third life, or energy, which contains shared values, attitudes, beliefs, and goals of 2 or more people. Every 2 people, or group, shares some values, some attitudes, some goals….and what 2 or more people share creates their pagra. A couple, a family, a team, a group, a parent and child, all share a pagra….anytime we connect to another person, we share a pagra….that is, shared values, attitudes, beliefs, and goals.
Our pagra is living energy….therefore at times our pagra becomes bigger, stronger, and more powerful because we share more values, ideas, beliefs with another person, or group. At other times, our pagra can shrink when we share less and less.
Pagra is easy to demonstrate by drawing 2 (or more) circles…each circle represents a person. The circles move because they are living energy. Where the circles overlap, where people have shared values, the pagra exists. Imagine that 2 people share many of the same values….their circles overlap almost completely…a large pagra. When 2 people disagree, find that they have little in common, their circles move apart, and they may no longer overlap at all….they have little or no pagra.
When we give our attention, our energy, our focus to something in our lives, it grows in strength. When any 2, or more, people, concentrate on the shared values, ideas, and beliefs they share, their pagra grows in strength.
Pagra is the real connection we have with others.
Real connection is an awareness, and a joy choice.
Real connection cannot be made by one person.
Real connection requires 2 or more to make it work.
Real connection means looking for the common ground, the pagra, that exists in what we share with others.
Real connection means looking for the good in others, choosing to see what is good, is loving, is shared.
Choose to strengthen the pagras you have with people and groups you love and appreciate. Find ways to increase and understand shared values, ideas, and beliefs. Your life will be richer for it, and your joy will increase!
Joy & Blessings, Carole xxxx
Synchronicity Speed Dial
CommentsSynchronicity: coincidence of events that seem to be meaningfully related…..
For a long time, I made light of the synchronicity that was happening in my life. I really started noticing it about 15 years ago, but I know now that it was there all along. Before that, I think that I wanted to believe it was mere coincidence…but the truth is, coincidence is very different. Coincidence is an occurrence of two or more events at one time, apparently by mere chance. I never believed the Universe runs on chance, so why didn’t I believe synchronicity was happening for a reason?
If we’re human, we learn throughout our lives. We can’t avoid it. I’ve always liked to called myself a "lifetime learner," because I like to learn new stuff, and have new experiences. If I get real, though, I have to acknowledge that we’re all lifetime learners, whether we want to be or not. Some of us just happen to believe that learning is what we’re here for.
A few years ago, I began to seriously wonder if all my classes, and books, and lectures could be an excuse for not settling into a real life purpose. Was being that perpetual student a sign that I would never discover my real purpose for being here?
When I started to really hunker down and question myself about things like running out of time, and wasting my life, synchronicity appeared, or maybe I finally just noticed it. It was showing up regularly, quietly at first, barely noticable. I was still able to call the surprises just coincidences, but I couldn’t ignore that I was getting too much evidence for this to be true. I was choosing to ignore what was irrefutable….I couldn’t deny that something very symbolic was happening in my life.
One day, I decided to list some of my interesting coincidences in my journal, with an extra added twist….I wanted to look for connection, and to ask for direction for what was happening, and why.…I had a sneaky suspicion that this had to do with my asking for my life purpose….and I promised to listen to the answers I received.
Suddenly, the synchronicity sped up and increased, and more and more of my life started to connect. I began journaling more, meditating more, praying more. I was asking for direction, and I was listening, and I was expecting to receive answers. Synchronicity had become a speed-dial for me. I was realizing how quickly I could connect to direction when I flipped the switch. That switch was asking, then listening, then receiving answers….and only I could make that connection, or not.
Today, I can’t imagine living without what I once referred to as coincidence. It is such a joy to know that when I connect and cooperate with direction, I have unbelievably wonderful experiences that I wouldn’t want to miss, and would never find on my own.
Pay attention to the synchronicity that shows up all around you….It shows up in the unexplained ways in which you accidentally connect to the people, or the support you need….in the perfect timing that leads you to a particular result….in the needs that are met when you believe they will be, and listen for direction. There are really no accidents. Our loving, creative Universe runs in divine order, perfect balance….and is always inviting you to tune in, and receive all the answers you need.
Pay attention….Ask for help…..Listen for answers…..Act in love.
Joy & Blessings, Carole xx
Be Present & Look for the Gift
CommentsSome days are destined to stress and overwhelm us. I can think of days in the past, and some coming up, when I would gladly pay someone to "step in and do the day for me!" I can get anxious when I have to discuss a tough subject with someone, and I can get overwhelmed when I have to make a drastic change I haven’t anticipated, and I can get nervous and stressed when I have to begin something new. It’s easy for dread, or fear, or discomfort to creep in.
Whatever the challenge is, I usually don’t have the option not to do it, or not to be it, or not to face it. The universe doesn’t always offer us an opt out. Sometimes the "not knowing" what will take place, and the "not knowing" what will happen afterward, are the hardest parts.
There are many effective things you can do to prepare yourself for a day that stresses you and threatens to overwhelm you: It’s always important to center yourself…to get quiet and still…to ask and accept help from our loving, creative Universe. It’s important to set our intention to have clear perception and right action…..that is, action that is in alignment with our deepest values. Anytime that you set your intention to open up to clear, loving perception and right action, you’re making a joy choice for yourself and others.
I want to share with you 2 simple but powerful ways that will make your challenging day much easier and more joyful….when you make these ideas a habit, life gets a little easier! All of us have heard the words Present and Gift used interchangeably. If you can remember these 2 important words, you’re on your way to having an easier time on challenging days.
***In a moment, I want you to imagine that you are giving yourself 2 things…Imagine that you are giving yourself a present, and you are giving yourself a gift…Remember: Before you close your eyes and imagine this, you’ll open your eyes again after you see the present & the gift!
Let’s open your 1st Present: This present you are receiving is the ability to focus on the present, choosing to stay in the present, and choosing to keep your mind and heart focused on each moment that you exist in during the day. Being in the present, keeps your perception clear by staying out of the "what If’s" of the future, and out of the "why me’s" of the past. Be present to what you must do right here…right now…..and bring yourself back to the present when you get lost. Focus on the present time throughout your day to stay centered and clear.
Let’s open your 2nd Gift: This gift you are receiving is the ability to accept the gift that comes from the challenge you are facing. When we experience fear and anxiety about something, we block out our perception of the good that the challenge may be bringing to our life. When we look for, and receive the gift, that is the good, in a situation or a person, we change our attitude of mind, and open ourselves to more good, to clear perception, and to right action. So if a day of challenge looms on your horizon…Remember the Present & the Gift. These are yours to take home:
I am fully PRESENT, with clear perception and calm mind
I am seeing the GIFT, receptive to more good and right action
You have great contribution to make to this world….You make a difference!
Joy & Blessings, Carole xx
Can’t Do It Overwhelm
Comments
I’ve had some "Can’t Do It" Overwhelm popping up lately. I’m learning lots of new skills that I’ve never attempted learning before.
I know for sure that I can usually talk myself through intimidating things….so why do I just forget sometimes that I know how to talk to myself???
I want to remind you (and me!) that we can use the same skills we already know to push through fear, when we really need to….whether we’re learning new computer skills, changing jobs, navigating a new place, or attempting anything else that’s new to us.
Here’s a little secret, up front…..
You have to talk to yourself! Ideally, this would be in private, with no one listening, except maybe your cat or dog….They understand completely.
Here’s What to Ask Yourself & What to Answer :
Q: Am I smart enough to do this?
-
I know Lucy can do it
-
I think I’m probably as capable of learning this as Lucy is
-
Lots of people manage to learn, do, or accomplish this
-
I know how to get answers if I need them
-
If I were really incapable, I wouldn’t be attempting this
Q: What else have I attempted, that compares to this, and succeeded?
-
I’ve learned to do things on the computer, DVR, and camera that I never dreamed I could do
-
I can concentrate and follow directions
-
I feel good about myself when I conquer something new
-
Nobody knows how to do it until they do it
Q: How can I get support?
-
What online, phone, or live help is available?
-
Who can show me the first step, or the first and second, or all the steps?
-
Can I trade skill trainings with a friend, or bribe a teenager to show me how to do it?
Q: What am I confused about?
-
Do I know what I actually want to do?
-
Do I have all the instructions I need?
-
Would questions answered make a difference?
-
Am I afraid of looking dumb?
Q: How can I move in the direction?
-
What one action can I take to start the process moving?
-
I’ll start the process by myself, and get help when I need it
-
What’s my first step?
All of us have a fear of failure, a fear of not good enough, not smart enough, not skilled enough, not capable enough.…these are fears that are natural to all of us.
People who accomplish amazing things have the ability to motivate themselves to keep trying, and to persist until they are absolutely sure they can’t accomplish a difficult task. Even then, people who go on to do great things, push through fear, and continue….or they find help to do what they want to do. Becoming one of these people is a matter of building an attitude of persistence and faith in oneself, knowing that the worst case scenario may just be getting help if you can’t do it alone…..
-
Fear can’t exist where Faith is present.
It’s OK to fail, especially if we learn something in the process, and if we continue trying. A new attitude is built on pushing past the fear, whatever it is based in, and continuing to a point of accomplishment, or pride in oneself, for giving it our best.
Don’t let the big F word stop you….. Frustration can create overwhelm that stops you, and it can cover up the other F word…..Fear!
Talk your way through whatever it is that’s keeping you stuck! The dog will never tell!
Joy & Blessings, Carole xx
Carolenjoy.com is a joy choice!
Comments
Hello…..Welcome to Carolenjoy.com. I’m glad you’ve landed here!
I’m Carole Bryant. I’ve created this site for people who want more joyous and fulfilling lives.
I don’t believe there are accidents in the universe….It’s no accident that you’ve landed here if you want to create more joy in your life. My personal joy comes from helping women understand and develop their unique potential and purpose.
I’m a professional life coach, pastoral counselor, writer, workshop leader and speaker. I believe in making a contribution back to life….that’s why I’ve created a place you can come for help in growing yourself into the person you choose to be, and the person you feel you were meant to be.
On this website, you’ll find real tools, ideas, inspirations, and practical, applicable information… for bringing more love, more peace, more fulfillment, and more joy into your life. I have one request….and that is that you give back also….I hope you’ll pass along this information to your friends and family.
I’ve coached, counseled, and supervised many people to refine their attitudes, and to deal with stress, trauma, and crisis issues. I’ll be writing about subjects that I’ve studied, and continue to study…things like personal development, psychology, spirituality, intercultural diversity, relationships, health, antiaging, quantum physics, attitudinal development…..and I’ll be glad to write about related subjects that you have questions about.
This website is for you, especially if you’re experiencing stress and overwhelm in your life….I know I can help you. I can assure you that while you’re outgrowing the stress and overwhelm you’re experiencing, your whole life will benefit.
Make a Joy Choice to join me here, and come back often. I’m looking forward to helping you create a more joyful and rewarding life. Remember this: You’re important to this planet! You make a difference!
See you here soon! Before you go….bookmark this site!
Joy & Blessings,
Carole xx