Archive for Purpose
The Joy of Giving Yourself
Posted by: | CommentsA dear friend called me this morning to talk. She’s a busy person, and often our conversations are short. We live close to each other though, so we talk frequently. This morning was different, because she didn’t just want to talk, she wanted connection. I could feel something in her voice that made me completely stop what I was doing, and focus on our conversation. It only took a couple of minutes for us to get to the real reason she called.
Her elderly mom, who lives alone in another city, was having some challenges. My friend had been planning to visit her in a few weeks, but was feeling that she should leave earlier than originally planned. She had received a report from a brother who lived nearby her mom. My friend needed to talk about the situation. She was working through her options, and her deepest feelings about what she should do. We spent several minutes going over the situation, and she became clearer. Just talking about the situation to someone who cared helped her get clear on her real feelings.
We all have a lot to do, often causing us to multitask, and to give half attention and effort to many of the routine things we do everyday. We move through things on our lists rapidly, often looking ahead to where we need to focus next. We may not remember something significant at the end of a day, if we haven’t completely connected to it. This is the very definition of overwhelm, the very absence of peace or understanding.
In Surrender Your Agenda: From Overwhelm to Joy, a course I developed for stressed and overwhelmed women, one of the most important choices that I encourage all of us to make is that of being fully present wherever you are, and in whatever you are doing throughout the day. When we are fully present we make a real connection to others and to ourselves. Being fully present defeats much of the overwhelm and stress of our lives, because it allows us to let our minds rest from everything else while we are engaged in what we are doing. Our attitude of mind actually changes when we focus in on what is important for us to prioritize in the moment. When we are present with a situation, a task, or a person our perception is focused on our purpose right here, right now.
We all spend lots of time and energy on the gifts that we give to others during the holidays, or for birthdays, or other special occasions. Becoming fully present with the living beings in your life is one of the greatest gifts you can ever give them. Who in your life would receive great benefit from a deep and conscious connection to you? Several people may come to mind immediately. I would suggest to you that everyone in your life would receive benefits from your being fully present in your interaction with them, no matter how short that interaction may be.
We now know that multitasking is seldom effective. The brain cannot truly focus on several tasks simultaneously, and resorts to focusing in sequentially short attentions to each task involved. The greatest argument against multitasking though is that it keeps us from fully experiencing the living beings who give meaning and purpose to our life.
Take the time to be connected to the living beings in your life. Bring yourself back to the moment whenever you notice you are slipping into another time or place. Give the gift of your presence to others. Take the time to acknowledge the people who cross your path. They are your teachers, as you are theirs.
One of the greatest joys in life is real connection to others. It is a gift. You can change your habit of mutltasking by choosing to be fully present in each moment. You change your habits by creating new intention and purpose. Take the time today to express real feelings to someone, to understand someone, to be quiet with someone, to support someone, to hold a hand, to laugh together, to share the moment. Live your life fully and consciously. Give your gift of presence to others and to yourself. Give yourself.
Joy & Blessings, Carole xx
Choose or Cruise
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As I write this, we’re winding up a Caribbean cruise. It was a great getaway, even though cellphones and computers now operate on most ships. There was a time, not so long ago, when we could cruise away from it all, without a virtual connection back to the real world of home and business. Not so anymore!
These days, cruises are great for all types of people…from the elderly, to kids, to special needs. I love cruises, because I really love the ocean…but the secret reason I love cruises is because I love the lull period, which happens sometime in the middle of the voyage. This mindless time happens when I’m lulled into the peaceful place of not having to think, or steer, or even plan dinner….For a couple of days, I’m just on cruise control.
This glorious time of blissful relaxation only lasts for a brief moment in time, to be replaced by something very different in the last few days we are at sea. Always, predictably, in the last few days of any cruise, my mind begins the gradual shift back to reality and responsibility. Even when I try to stay on cruise control, reminders of work, and of home, start to creep in, and I begin returning to making conscious choices.
I write for people who are developing, and growing, and nurturing their potential and purpose in life. Conscious choice is something I write and speak about, because conscious choice is the glue and foundation of our potential and purpose. Conscious choice keeps us on track, and on course, for creating who we want to be in our lives. Each choice that we make now, appears as our future potential…choices we make now limit, and determine, what choices will be available to us in our future. What we are currently receiving in our present life, we have most likely chosen, and given, in the past.
Because we need to be aware and focused on conscious choice so much of the time, we all need cruise time..a time when we can relax not just our bodies, but also relax our minds and our spirits…times when we can be carefree. The truth is…a cruise doesn’t always have to take place on a ship. We can experience cruise control anytime that we create a space to still the day to day world…we can do that in any way that works for us….any way from gardening, to walking, to bathing, to playing, to sitting. to the The key to turning an ordinary time into cruise time, is the intention we bring to the space. Cruise time must be chosen…it will not appear unless you consciously choose it. The secret to experiencing real relaxation in mind, body, and spirit, is that we must give our full attention, and focus, to what we are doing….we must be totally present….No multitasking, or turning our mind to choices is allowed.
An old friend once said that she liked regular days more than holidays…I never forgot what she said, and I realize that now I find myself feeling that same way. She was a joyful and creative person. She was content in her life. Special days weren’t so outstanding to her, because she loved the reality she had created for herself.…She was a woman fulfilling her potential. When we make choices that bring us closer to who we are in our purpose, we too, will love each day, and be focused in the present.
Could you take some cruise time today? Could you choose a time, and an activity, or a relaxation, which would quiet your mind, relax your body, and refresh your spirit? Could you plan that time into your day? Could it be a gift you give yourself? Could you consciously choose to take cruise time? Go ahead…turn off the world, and sail away! And wherever you are, be there!
When you return from your cruise, notice the souvenirs you bring back with you….I know you brought back some gifts for yourself, too….a few little things like:
Renewed energy
More patience
Sharper focus
New perspective
Fresh creativity
Your presence is important to everything you do. Be present in all your life...and you will enjoy it! Consciously choose some cruise time, and remember your sunscreen! Shine on!
Joy & Blessings, Carole xxx
Simple Surrender
Posted by: | CommentsI recently spent a few weeks in China. It wasn’t exactly a pleasure trip, but it turned out to be an incredible experience. I learned a few things about the country, but I learned quite a lot about myself. It took me several weeks after my return home to make the connection to the real benefits I received.
I often do volunteer work. You do, too! We all do volunteer work, even if we don’t recognize it while we’re doing it! I decided to help someone whom I met through amazing synchronicity, by supporting her on a trip to China, for medical treatment of her special needs child. I knew all along that I volunteered for a number of reasons…not just to help someone who needed help, but to see and experience the country and it’s people, and because I’m interested in the health treatments there.
I looked at the trip as a positive adventure. The trip was an adventure, but the adventure was in my personal growth, not in the intended experience. We don’t always get what we came for…sometimes we get more.
I set out for my adventure feeling that I was doing a good deed, and that I would enjoy my journey on many levels. I had no idea then, that there were expectations for my support, that I hadn’t volunteered for. I also discovered, to my great surprise, that I had an agenda of my own operating.
I often write and speak about agendas. I even developed a course called Surrender Your Agenda, and yet agendas sneak up on me all the time. An agenda, you know, is born in our minds, and consists of something we think we want to accomplish. That’s why we often call them personal agendas. While I was in China, my personal agenda, ran head on into someone else’s personal agenda. I’ve learned to realize that when I think I know the only way something should be, I need to give my agenda up to a higher purpose…I need to make a joy choice….I made the choice to surrender.
There are many times in life when things just don’t work out the way we imagined (in our wildest dreams sometimes!), times when we have walked head on into a situation which is very negative, even though we know we had good intentions! Are you feeling this? In these situations, we can fight, run, or surrender…..Let me tell you why surrender is the winning move.
Surrender often gets a bad rap. Surrender doesn’t mean lose, in fact, in it’s purest sense it simply means to "give up to." Surrender was the answer in China, because my agenda was fogging up my purpose for being there. My purpose involved being loving to others, and myself. The agenda that existed in my mind, however, consisted of having this be a win/win experience for everyone involved. The dynamics of two opposing agendas was causing friction. I had a choice…to stick to the agenda in my head, or to check with my heart, for an answer. I chose to surrender the agenda, cancel, and give up what I wanted, so that I could remain loving to myself and the others involved. It was a simple choice.
I came home with some incredible benefits. I have no negative feelings about the trip, even though it was far removed from the joy it could have been. I have happy memories, and any angst disappeared when I looked for the good in the situation. I now see the connections that were made ….the beautiful people I met there, who will be friends for life, and the amazing growth and understanding that I gained. The expression, "Go in Peace,’ has a new meaning for me.
Joy & Blessings, Carole xx
Purpose or Agenda?
Posted by: | CommentsAre you like me? I don’t always take the time to consciously think about what I’m doing, or why I’m doing it…I just do it! I find that I have more things to do, than I have time to do them, and I’m often concerned with just getting things done! Sometimes I need a wakeup call. It dawns 
on me that a lot of the behavior I want to believe is coming from my purpose, probably isn’t from my purpose at all…it’s coming from my agenda.
"We teach what we need to learn," is an old adage, but it’s so true. Will Rogers said something also about learning that really applies to me. He said that there are "ones that learn by reading, a few who learn by observation, and the rest of them have to pee on the electric fence and find out for themselves." Guess where I am? Standing in line to get to the fence! The good part is…I remember what I learn, and it often shows up in my writing.
What does all this have to do with the subject, "Purpose or Agenda?" Whether we’re actively looking for our purpose, our life purpose, that is, our reason for being here….or, we simply believe that our experience is better, richer, and more fulfilling when we embrace our purpose…purpose is still important to us. Why then, do we get so caught up in our agendas that we lose sight of purpose?
Purpose can be defined as: intended or desired result; the aim or reason for which something is done or is used. Purpose and agenda are sometimes used interchangeably, but they mean far different things. Agenda is: a list, or an idea, of what we want to accomplish. Agendas tend to be personal, not always well formulated, often impulsive, and not based in wisdom, education, or experience. It is our agendas which can lead us to the "electric fences" that Will Rogers spoke of.
A few years ago, I developed a course on overwhelm, for women, because so many people around me were stressed and overwhelmed, and were lacking joy in their lives. It was while I was working on this course, and bringing joy back into my own life, that I learned the difference in having a purpose, and having an agenda. You see, I couldn’t have my own agenda while I was writing the course. The course had a plan of it’s own, and it named itself: Surrender Your Agenda: Overwhelm to Joy. The course taught me how to surrender, to have a purpose, to be focused on a goal, a result, a reason…I was coming from my heart. My agenda, that is…my idea of how, what, why, when, and where, wouldn’t work…that agenda was coming from my head.
Find some quiet time….give yourself permission to see clearly what you need to know. Journal, because journaling will help you dig deeper into what you have hidden from yourself. Quiet your mind, connect with your heart, and allow yourself to know who you want to be in the world. Ask yourself: "Where do I have a unconscious agenda that is not in alignment with my deepest purpose?"
When you check with your heart, and realize that you may Surrender Your Agenda to serve your purpose, you will find that your heart has the perfect answers you’ve been looking for. Joy & Blessings, Carole xxx
Live on Purpose
Posted by: | CommentsPurpose: intended or desired result; the aim, goal, reason for which something is done or used
I may have received my first glimpse of self responsibility as a young child, when my mother looked me in the eyes, and said, "I think you did that on purpose." Until that day, my misbehaviors had sneaked under her radar, because she believed I was too young to understand consequences. This time, however, I was mature enough to know what I had done, and why I had done it. My will and intention were maturing, and mom was right….I had done it on purpose!
I once heard Dr Wayne Dyer say that the question he is most often asked is from people wanting to know how they can discover their life purpose. Most of us question our "reason for being here" at some time in our lives. Some of us lead lives of frustration believing we are not fulfilling what we came here for. Almost all of us have a tendency to view our life experiences in one extreme or the other…
- Good or Bad
- Win or Lose
- OK or Not OK
- Success or Failure
There’s an authoritarian part in most of us that causes us to perceive our experiences with a black or white, negative or positive filter…..Realistically, most of our choices, accomplishments, and our experiences tend to fall somewhere in a "gray" or middle area. Don’t automatically assume that a gray area is a bad place to be….it’s where most of real life takes place!
One of my favorite quotes is by Ralph Waldo Emerson….you’ve probably heard it before:
"Life is a journey, not a destination"
Emerson was acknowledging the power of being in the present, and the reality of continuing to live and thrive without reaching a final destination.
The life purpose we all search for is not a single goal, or attainment…Our life purpose is a series of accomplishments…actually, a multitude of intentions which lead to accomplishments. We find our life purpose when we discover who we want to be….it is not a single mountaintop experience….life purpose shows up everyday that you are living consciously, and making choices based in the intentions which reflect your deepest values. Every experience, every lesson, every win, every loss, is a valuable and necessary part of life’s journey.
Realize that you are on purpose, in your life purpose right now. Your will and intention are mature enough to make you aware of exactly what you are doing.
Are you becoming the person that you most want to be? Are you making conscious choices to move toward that goal, that reality, that life, of who you are, in the deepest part of you? Each choice you make reveals choices that were unavailable to you before.
Grow your life purpose….It’s your assignment here on the planet! Stay in the present…You are enough! And by the way, wherever you are, be there!
Joy & Blessings, Carole xx
Synchronicity Speed Dial
Posted by: | CommentsSynchronicity: coincidence of events that seem to be meaningfully related…..
For a long time, I made light of the synchronicity that was happening in my life. I really started noticing it about 15 years ago, but I know now that it was there all along. Before that, I think that I wanted to believe it was mere coincidence…but the truth is, coincidence is very different. Coincidence is an occurrence of two or more events at one time, apparently by mere chance. I never believed the Universe runs on chance, so why didn’t I believe synchronicity was happening for a reason?
If we’re human, we learn throughout our lives. We can’t avoid it. I’ve always liked to called myself a "lifetime learner," because I like to learn new stuff, and have new experiences. If I get real, though, I have to acknowledge that we’re all lifetime learners, whether we want to be or not. Some of us just happen to believe that learning is what we’re here for.
A few years ago, I began to seriously wonder if all my classes, and books, and lectures could be an excuse for not settling into a real life purpose. Was being that perpetual student a sign that I would never discover my real purpose for being here?
When I started to really hunker down and question myself about things like running out of time, and wasting my life, synchronicity appeared, or maybe I finally just noticed it. It was showing up regularly, quietly at first, barely noticable. I was still able to call the surprises just coincidences, but I couldn’t ignore that I was getting too much evidence for this to be true. I was choosing to ignore what was irrefutable….I couldn’t deny that something very symbolic was happening in my life.
One day, I decided to list some of my interesting coincidences in my journal, with an extra added twist….I wanted to look for connection, and to ask for direction for what was happening, and why.…I had a sneaky suspicion that this had to do with my asking for my life purpose….and I promised to listen to the answers I received.
Suddenly, the synchronicity sped up and increased, and more and more of my life started to connect. I began journaling more, meditating more, praying more. I was asking for direction, and I was listening, and I was expecting to receive answers. Synchronicity had become a speed-dial for me. I was realizing how quickly I could connect to direction when I flipped the switch. That switch was asking, then listening, then receiving answers….and only I could make that connection, or not.
Today, I can’t imagine living without what I once referred to as coincidence. It is such a joy to know that when I connect and cooperate with direction, I have unbelievably wonderful experiences that I wouldn’t want to miss, and would never find on my own.
Pay attention to the synchronicity that shows up all around you….It shows up in the unexplained ways in which you accidentally connect to the people, or the support you need….in the perfect timing that leads you to a particular result….in the needs that are met when you believe they will be, and listen for direction. There are really no accidents. Our loving, creative Universe runs in divine order, perfect balance….and is always inviting you to tune in, and receive all the answers you need.
Pay attention….Ask for help…..Listen for answers…..Act in love.
Joy & Blessings, Carole xx